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• Tags:
  • mob

• Tags:
  • mob

O2 will steal your breath, and Orange will peel your skin; whilst Vodafone will tempt you to bite from their Apple. Perhaps the iPhone mirage has deluded these Uk mobile networks into considering that fanbois are a majority of the user population; as the author of this satirical short story may conclude:

“CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR purchase of a new iThink!
With its 15 Tb of storage, and automatic wireless Internet access, the iThink can easily meet all your information needs: work, news, personal records and memories, and entertainment media including music, movies, and games.
Please take a few minutes to familiarize your iThink with you.
First, take the iGlasses from the box and put them on. Hold the iThink in your hand and touch the center button of the wheel with your thumb.
A menu will appear in front of your eyes, as well as on the screen.
Look at any item on the menu and choose it. There is no need to blink or make any unusual eye or facial movements. Simply look and choose.
Confirm your choice by scrolling to the item and clicking on the center button.
Choose another item. Look and choose.
Confirm your choice.
Choose another item. Look and choose.
Your iThink is now initialized.
It is also personalized. No one else can use your iThink. There is no need for any other access control feature, such as a password.
(To choose an item when you are not using your iGlasses, simply use the wheel and center button in the usual way.)
Your iThink is now ready for use.
To recover sights and sounds encountered while wearing the iGlasses, use the iRecall option of the Playback feature.
The Playback feature has a date and time menu. However, over time, as you use iRecall, it will become increasingly easy to recover a given sight or sound simply by trying to recall it as vividly as possible.
The default setting of the Security feature enables sights and sounds stored in the iThink to be automatically uploaded to your national or local police artificial intelligence. This makes it easy to recover your iThink and/or its contents if your iThink is lost or stolen, and will assist you if you are ever called upon to assist the police with their inquiries.
Your privacy is important to us. For this reason, you have the option of turning off the Security feature at any time. For security reasons, and for your own protection, turning off the Security feature is automatically reported to your local or national security agencies.
To enter data or to write a document, place the iThink on its stand on any flat surface. Select Keyboard. A virtual keyboard will appear on the flat surface. Simply tap this keyboard in the usual way.
Over time, as you use the keyboard, the iThink will come to anticipate your keystrokes. Writing speeds of at least 60 wpm can thus be easily attained by any practiced but untrained user.
A large library of books, music, games, and movies is pre-installed. Other books, tracks, etc. can be downloaded from the Internet.
Google features including Earth, Planets, and Sky are pre-installed.
Use of Google Buildings while in control of any moving vehicle voids the warranty.
Games, from Terris and Minesweeper to the latest release of popular MMPORPGs are pre-installed. Enjoy!
One game in particular is useful for keeping your iThink synchronized with your personal characteristics.
Put your iGlasses on.
Choose the Games menu. Look and choose. Choose Predictor.
To initialize Predictor, click the center button on the wheel. The screen will now light up.
Click the center button again. The screen will light up.
Predictor is now initialized.
The object of the game is to click the center button before the screen lights up.
When you are ready to play, the screen will light up.
Click the center button.
When you are ready to play again, the screen will light up.
Click the center button.
And so on. The screen will almost always light up just before you click the center button.
Continue as long as this amuses you.
If you wish to understand what is going on, look up or Google “Libet experiment” and “readiness potential.”
If you find this demonstration of the illusory nature of conscious will disturbing, consult the philosophy section of your pre-installed library. If you do not understand the explanations, do not let this disturb you.
Simply stop playing Predictor.
Return to the Games menu. Choose something else. Look and choose.
Within a few minutes, the illusion of conscious will returns with full effect. This feature is pre-installed.

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  • mob